Sunday, February 26, 2017

Better Is Something You Become
Written by Jim Rohn

Your life will change when you do.

A wise and resilient old gentleman who used to dine every month in his club downtown—sitting at a long table covered with a white linen tablecloth and sporting silver candlesticks, and served by tuxedoed waiters—loved to regale companions with the fruits of his many years of experience. After dessert and coffee were served, he would push back from the table and light an enormous imported cigar.

“This cigar is the only indulgence of an old man,” he would say with a chuckle as he struck the wooden match against his thumbnail, and then he’d launch into one of his stories.

They usually began with a question, such as, “Did I ever tell you about the time when I was setting up factories for the Giant XYZ Corporation in the backwoods of Georgia and was compelled to teach them a little lesson in business and good manners?”

Although the stories always started out the same, no two stories were ever alike, and there would always be a wealth of wisdom through example, a veritable mother lode of remarkable instruction. And this man who was so old, so wise and so flexible had one ironclad rule for dealing with other people. This rule involved learning and growing from every experience, so the negative ones need never happen again.

He said, “If a man fools me once, I think, That’s not nice, and I remember it. If the same man fools me a second time, I think, Shame on you. If the same fellow tricks me a third time, well, I have been warned and should have changed my ways and didn’t, so I think, Shame on me.”

If you’re not changing your responses to the situations and circumstances that make up your life, you’re not being flexible, and you’re throwing away the greatest asset as an individual human being. None of us can completely control external events, but we can always control and adapt our responses. None of us can know which cards fate is going to deal out, but we can always control how we play them.

None of us can completely control external events, but we can always control and adapt our responses.

I once did a seminar for a group of oil company executives during their convention in Honolulu. While we were sitting around the conference table, one of them asked, “Mr. Rohn, you know some important people around the world. What do you think the next 10 years are going to be like?” I said, “Gentlemen, I do know the right people. I can tell you.” So they all listened very carefully. I said, “Gentlemen, based on the people I know and from the best of my own experience, I’ve concluded that in the coming 10 years, things are going to be about like they’ve always been.”

I said that to make a point, but also because it’s accurate. Things are going to be about like they’ve always been. The tide comes in, and then what? It goes out. That’s been the case for 6,000 years of recorded history, and probably long before that, so it’s not likely to change.

It gets light and then what? It turns dark. For 6,000 years. We are not to be startled by that now. If the sun goes down and someone says, “What happened?” he must have just gotten here, I guess. It always goes down about this time of day.

In rotation, the next season after fall is winter. And pray tell, how often does winter follow fall? Every time, without fail, for 6,000 years that we know of. Of course, some winters are long and some are short, some are difficult and some are easy, but they always come right after fall. That isn’t going to change.

Sometimes you can figure it out, sometimes there’s no way to figure it out. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it gets in a knot. Sometimes it sails along, sometimes it goes in reverse. That’s not going to change. That last 6,000 years read like this: opportunity mixed with difficulty. It isn’t going to change.

Someone says, “Well, then, how will my life change?” And the answer is: When you change.

Whether I’m talking to high school kids or business executives, my message is always the same. The only way it gets better for you is when you get better. Better is not something you wish for; better is something you become.

Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher, reprinted with permission from Jim Rohn International © 2017. As a world-renowned author and success expert, Jim Rohn touched millions of lives during his 46-year career as a motivational speaker and messenger of positive life change. For more information on Jim and his popular personal achievement resources or to subscribe to the weekly Jim Rohn Newsletter, visit www.JimRohn.com.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

These Mistakes Are Costing You Your Happiness in Life
Written by Jack Canfield

I want you to ask yourself something: Are you genuinely happy? Take a moment to honestly think about that. Have you genuinely found happiness in life?

If your answer is no, or even maybe, let’s talk about the reasons why you aren’t happy, and the mistakes you might be making unknowingly that are costing you happiness.

1) You Haven’t Transformed Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Coach
The first mistake you might be making that is costing you your happiness is that you haven’t successfully transformed your inner critic into your inner coach.

Research indicates that, on average, people talk to themselves about 50,000 times a day. Unfortunately, most of that self-talk is about yourself, and according to the psychological researchers, it is about 80% negative.

Some examples of this might be:
  • “I shouldn’t have said that.”
  • “I don’t like the way my hair looks today.”
  • “I’ll never lose weight.”
  • “I can never seem to get organized.”
… and the list goes on.

We know from this research that these thoughts have a powerful effect on us. Our negative thoughts actually control our behavior.

The first thing you have to do if you want to find happiness in life, is put a muzzle on that inner critic and transform it into an encouraging, loving, and positive inner coach.

One of the most powerful exercises for retraining your inner critic is to teach it to tell you the total truth. Just like your parents disciplined you for your own good, your inner critic really has your best interests in mind when it is criticizing you. It wants you to get the benefit of the better behavior. The problem is that it tells you only part of the truth.

Whenever you hear a part of you judging yourself, simply reply,

“Thank you for caring. What is your fear? What specifically do you want me to do? How will this serve me? and Thank you.”

Do not let the seeming simplicity of this technique fool you. It is very powerful if you use it.

2) You’re Letting Your Limiting Beliefs Control You
Another mistake you might unknowingly be making and therefore sabotaging your own happiness is allowing yourself to be controlled by your limiting beliefs.

Many of us have beliefs that limit our success -- whether they are beliefs about our own capabilities, beliefs about what it takes to succeed, or even beliefs about how we should relate with other people.

Moving beyond your limiting beliefs is a critical step toward becoming happier and more successful.

Learn How to Find Happiness in Life in 4 Steps
To do this, you must first believe that you are capable of accomplishing your goals and that you are capable of being happy.

Here is a simple but powerful four-step process you can use to transform any limiting belief into an empowering belief:
  • Step 1: Identify a limiting belief that you want to change.
  • Step 2: Determine how that belief limits you.
  • Step 3: Decide how you would rather be, act, or feel. And…
  • Step 4: Create a turnaround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, or feel this new way.
For example, a negative belief might be: “If I express my true feelings, people will think I’m weak and take advantage of me.”

The turnaround belief would then be:

“The more I express my true feelings, the more people love, respect, and support me.”

Once you have created a new belief, you will need to implant it into your subconscious mind through constant repetition for 2 or 3 minutes several times a day for a minimum of 30 days.

In conclusion, keeping these 2 possible mistakes in mind (listening to your inner critic without retraining it to be your inner coach and letting yourself be controlled by your unconscious limiting beliefs). Make a list of any beliefs that might be limiting you and follow the steps outlined above.

Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul©Inspirational Books)© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com/.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

How to Build Good Relationships
Written by Jim Rohn

The foundation of a strong and fruitful relationship is kindness and sensitivity.

Achieving genuine success is not a solo effort. You simply can’t be successful by yourself. With that in mind, I’d like to offer some tips that have been effective for me in building good relationships.

Let’s start with kindness. How kind should you be? As kind as you possibly can. Who should you be kind to? To everyone you come in contact with. From taxi drivers, to hotel clerks, to servers, to store clerks, to people on the street, in your office and at home. Be kind to everyone.

A kind word goes a long way. Perhaps somebody is having a bad day and you don’t know it. He or she is really feeling down and you offer a kind word. Maybe it’s just a friendly, “Hello, how are you today?” Maybe it’s just taking a minute or two to listen to what somebody has to say. But your few moments of attention could turn somebody’s day around. You might make them feel more worthwhile and important.

Be generous with your kindness. It will go a long way. People will remember, whether you know them or not. If you’re in a crowded restaurant and you’re especially nice to the waiter, he’ll remember you next time you come in and give you even better service.

When you give kindness, it’s not gone. It’s invested. It will come back to you two, five, 10, 100 times. Kindness is important in every aspect of your life, especially in building good relationships with others.

The next relationship-building essential is sensitivity. Allow yourself to be touched by the experience of others. Understand the plight of others. Open up your heart, mind and attention to the needs of others. Whether they’re people you work with or people you live with, you need to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to find out, if you can, what’s going on in their hearts.

If there’s a problem, you’ve got to be sensitive enough to ask some questions. One question might do it. Sometimes, however, you won’t even get through to the root of the problem until you’ve asked two or three questions.

People often won’t reveal the problem on the first question. You say, “How are you today? How are things?” He or she answers, “Well, everything’s OK.” You can tell by the way they say this that everything is not OK. Most of us don’t want to come right out and say what the real problem is, unless two criteria are met.
  1. We need to feel as though we’re talking to someone we can trust.
  2. We need to believe we’re talking to someone who really cares.
So it might just take a second, third or fourth question before the trust builds. Once the person finally understands that you do care, they’ll be willing to tell you what’s really going on. You’ll hear what’s really on their mind.

Asking questions up front can save so much time. Have you ever talked for an hour and then asked a question? You probably found out that you just wasted the previous hour. Learn to ask questions that will build the trust and communication between you and those you work with. Build trust and communication, and you’ll also build loyalty.

If you don’t know the other person very well, you will obviously need a longer questioning process. You need to take the time to find out what he’s all about. You must be sensitive to where he or she came from, what he or she has been through, and the tragedies in his or her life. If you really want to have an effect on people, start with where they are coming from. If they’re hurting, try to understand their pain. If somebody’s in trouble, you’ve got to start with the trouble.

Learn to express, not impress. If you want to touch somebody, express sincerity from the heart. When you try to impress, you build a gulf. By expressing, you build a bridge. People want to be able to relate their thoughts and philosophies and experiences to someone who will say, “Me, too. I know what you mean.” They don’t want your reaction to be, “So what?”

If you’re meeting someone for the first time, and you’re simply getting acquainted, here’s where you start: Find something you have in common. Find something you can both identify with.

When you’re talking with somebody who’s been stricken in the heart and you’ve had the same experience, you can talk about being stricken in the heart. Your words will mean something. They will have substance. They will have depth. If you start there, building the bridge with kindness and sensitivity, you have identification. You have the basis for a strong and fruitful relationship. And everyone will benefit.

Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher, reprinted with permission from Jim Rohn International © 2017. As a world-renowned author and success expert, Jim Rohn touched millions of lives during his 46-year career as a motivational speaker and messenger of positive life change. For more information on Jim and his popular personal achievement resources or to subscribe to the weekly Jim Rohn Newsletter, visit www.JimRohn.com.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

5 Tips for Using Your Time Wisely
Written by Jim Rohn

Anything is possible in the 24 hours we’re given each day.

Let me give you some thoughts on time management. Here is a list of things you should consider to make the most of your time:

1. Run the day or it will run you.
Part of the key to time management is just staying in charge. Here’s what usually happens: We start something and we’re in control, but as the day starts to unfold, we start losing it. It’s like running a business. If you don’t stay on top of things, the business will run you before long. You have to stop every once in a while and say, “Wait! Who’s in charge here?”

Here’s a good phrase to remember: “Some will master and some will serve.” That’s the nature of life, and you have to make sure you become the master. You have to run the day. You have to stay in charge.

What is the key to staying in charge? You must have your written set of goals with you at all times. Prioritize your goals and decide which are important. Constantly review your goals, then make them a part of a good written game plan.

With your game plan in hand, try to separate the majors from the minors, the really important things from the things that you just have to do. And prioritize. A little thought will save you a lot of time.

Is this a major day or a minor day? Adjust your time accordingly. Is this a major conversation or a minor conversation? A lot of people don’t do well in this area, and here’s why: They major in minor things. They spend too much time on things that don’t count and too little time on things that should count.

2. Don’t mistake movement for achievement.
You probably know some people around you who are just plain busy being busy. You’ve got to be busy being productive.

Consider this: A man comes home at night and flops down on the couch. He says, “I’ve been going, going, going.” But the real question is, “Doing what?” Some people are going, going, going, but they’re doing figure eights. They’re not making much progress.

Don’t mistake movement for achievement. Evaluate the hours in your days, and see if there’s a lot of wasted time that you could manage better.

3. Concentrate on where you are.
You’ve just got to zero in on the job at hand. Don’t start your business day until you get to the business. I used to start my business day in the shower. I’m trying to compose a letter in the shower. I’m not awake yet, and I’m trying to compose a letter. I found out that it doesn’t work that way. Wait to get to the office to start your work. Don’t start your business day at the breakfast table. It’s not good for the family, and it’s not very productive.

So here’s what you’ve got to do. On the way to work, concentrate on your driving. In the shower, concentrate on the shower. At the breakfast table, concentrate on the family. Wherever you are, be there. Don’t be somewhere else. Give whatever you’re doing the gift of attention. Give people the gift of attention. Concentrate on where you are.

4. Learn to say no.
Boy, it’s easy in a society like ours to just say yes too much, to over-obligate yourself. Then it takes all that time to back out of it. Don’t say yes too quickly. It’s better to say, “I don’t know if I can make it, but I’ll give you a call.” It’s nicer to say that than to back out later.

One of my colleagues has a good saying: “Don’t let your mouth overload your back.” Being too eager to please can be dangerous. You need to appreciate yourself, your time, your limits. Know when your commitment to someone else will end up taking time away from yourself and your family. Appreciate your special time alone. And appreciate your time with those you love and those who love you.

This is especially important when it comes to charity work. A group of entrepreneurs I know have been very successful in their own business. They get a lot of press. And they’ve been swamped with requests to do pro bono work. They must get a couple offers a month to sit on one charity board or another. Here’s how they handle it: They take all requests, weigh them for time commitments and evaluate them for opportunities. Then they take a collective vote on which two they’ll accept during the next year.

You can’t immediately say yes to offers that sound prestigious. You can’t immediately say yes to social functions, even if they sound like a lot of fun. You’ve got to say maybe and take time to evaluate what’s truly important to you and what will just take time away from your ambitions and your family.

Be eager to please yourself and your family. Don’t be so eager to please everybody else. Appreciate your own limits. You don’t have to fill up every second of the day; take time to appreciate what you’ve accomplished. Take time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

5. Appreciate the little details.
Your success should be a pleasure. Appreciating what you’ve acquired and what you’ve done and who you’ve become is important. It’s an important component in fueling your future achievements. Just knowing that you finished all you started out to do that day… that’s encouraging! It’s these little daily gains that continue to fuel your achievement.

Let’s say you’re figuring out tomorrow’s game plan tonight, and tomorrow looks pretty light. So all you write down for tomorrow is “cleanup day.” Clean up all the little notes on your desk. Write all the thank-you notes you haven’t gotten around to writing all week. Take care of a few phone calls that keep getting shuffled from one day to the next. It’s just minor stuff. Nonetheless, it’s the little stuff that keeps weighing you down until you get it done.

So you spend your day in cleanup mode. You file the notes, write the thank-you cards, make the phone calls. It’s not a major day. But at the end of the day, you feel you’ve accomplished so much. Why? Because you’ve taken care of so many little details. It’s the little details that can make a major difference. You feel like you’ve really achieved something during a day that started out to be so minor.

Little achievements are just as important as big achievements. Success is the constant process of working toward your goals, little achievement by little achievement. Little achievements produce big results. Anything is possible in those 24 hours we’re given each day.

Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher, reprinted with permission from Jim Rohn International © 2017. As a world-renowned author and success expert, Jim Rohn touched millions of lives during his 46-year career as a motivational speaker and messenger of positive life change. For more information on Jim and his popular personal achievement resources or to subscribe to the weekly Jim Rohn Newsletter, visit www.JimRohn.com.